Dental Loopiness

One goes to the dentist and it seems they come out just a bit different. This 'phenom' has been with me since I was a kid. Of course, as a kid....I would be directed, without real knowledge or aim nor want or whatever....to just go to the dentist. My mom would plunk us all in the car, or most likely myself since my brothers and sisters never had any cavities. I was the "D" student in the inward thinkings of dental employees I have a feeling.

"Oh, here he comes....the "D" student and then often wonder if they were going to see their "A" student's (my brothers and sisters' once more)...."

So this past week, and as an adult...as we do seem to grow up....I found myself in the dental office. A professional dentist if I have seen one....no Doc Holliday thing going on here. Just a very educated dentist who has just about every instrument she needs. I think she can tell fortunes, or misfortunes in my case...from the start. 

'Let's see....see that black small dot embedded between those two teeth? I think in a few years your tooth will need a crown ($$$) or an implant ($$$$$$$)..... "

So, here in the chair I was...a very familiar place for me....just a different chair. But lay prone....feet stretched out....these oversized dark glasses on.....body tilted slightly back....mouth gaped open like a dead man. Slurred speech....hands shoved in and out of mouth with minor pressure (so she says), ....close mouth and pretend it is a straw as the other one sucks up matter and liquid.....   This was supposed to be a minor issue as a bridge needed replacing. I have no issue with that as I feel half my retirement is saved for the dentist so I just accommodate where needed (credit card). 

"But wait....what's this....is this an abscess ? Oh jim....you have an abscess...nasty....I thought we could save that tooth and just overlay the bridge over it but no, ...oh jim....needless to say I must perform an extraction here. Of course you can have an implant moving forward."

90 minutes later as the extraction ended....as of course the tooth decided to play 'split the atom' on me and broke into 'atomized parts'.... Pieces here and there and luckily it was already on a root-canaled tooth. Yet, for some reason it didn't stop the pain....da pain...da pain...da pain. You sure you gave me some novocaene,.....as she gave me more topical. 

"Now....I am giving you some pain meds' for this plus an anti-biotic for the abscess you will take over this coming week. You will need both....  here is a LONG list of what not to do or drink or act or say or stretch your mouth or sleep or eat or generally behave in the next week, as yes, you will need to know this. "

So, I return to my abode...swollen face....numb....feeling a bit shattered ..... the next day or two is okay. Wow....I tell myself....I skirted around that. Pain....the doctor knows nothing about as I have no pain. 

Go ahead....think ahead...two days. Yes, that would do it....da pain, da pain...da pain....   Where is that 600mg of Tylenol Deb? How many did she give me? Just 10? And I have like 10 days of anti-biotic to take. Collectively that combination messes up just about the entire bodily functions and systems and constitution. I know I am in for 10 days of relatively minor "don't talk to me much please as I am in no mood to respond'.....

Yesterday...what was that....a Tuesday? .... Garbage day and normally that is an event that I look forward to for rarely can I screw that up in Deb's eye. Mainly because she doesn't want to take the garbage out but even then, I do a pretty good job of getting both the garage and recycling material not only out to the cans, but the cans out to the street. I somewhat excel at that I must say. 

But as I was still in the 'don't talk to me mood' and wasn't really up to speed in my mental capacity and thinking, ....I forgot about the garbage. Yes, I forgot....a job I excel in and even then, the dental excursion I had mixed me up to the point that I forget....it just 'got away from me'..... Deb understood as I lay on the couch.

She went out to push the cans out....pull them perhaps. Push or pull, it makes no difference as I have found that I; being an expert in garbage/recycling can hauling...can do both. Sometimes I push, sometimes I pull. "THAT" is how much of an expert I am in that arena. Yet from the depths of my somewhat deaden ears....I hear a scream come from somewhere outside.... Oh no.... I must venture out and up and be a functioning adult. I leave the house in daylight.. and turn the corner to see Deb running back out at me....."snake...snake....snake.... Under the can......"

I see..... A snake....a rattlesnake....under the garbage can (not recycling can). And yes, it is a rattlesnake under my garbage can. As the can is already pulled (not pushed back in this case) by Deb, the snake is just curled up ....hidden within the patterns of the rocks. I take my place and guard the snake so it doesn't escape while Deb calls the Fire Department to haul it away (one of their more popular functions of their occupation). Now, I am guarding it....but not sure exactly what I will do if it decides to uncoil and head towards me. I have no plan and my brain wasn't functioning enough (due to the dentist) as to what I might do. I wasn't thinking that far ahead. 

To continue and to shorten this.....the snake was taken away....a 3' one....  but in retrospect I am thinking that the dentist actually saved me. She saved me, unknowingly and one I will remind her of. If this was my normal day and normal functioning brain patterns (without dental pre-amble) ....I would have done what I normally do. I go to the garbage can and pull it out and then, now get this as this is important....I then walk to where I just pulled the garbage can from, ....and push (not pull) the recycling can forward. This involves a two-step of sorts and a twist. I enter where one garbage can just was ( and where the snake happened to be coiled) and with a turn/twist motion combined into one....I immediate push the recycling can. Is that verbiage enough for you to visualize? In either case, that action would have taken my sandal-clad feet to the point where I pushed or pulled or stepped on ........ the snake. I can only imagine the outcome. Thankfully, the dentist, with all of her foresight apparently was thinking way ahead of me and made sure to prescribe the drug induced medication that make me loopy. Thus preventing me to push, pull...slide or step on a rattlesnake that was just minding it's own business.